Today was one of those days. The kind where it just isnt working for me.
I get to class this weekend and looked at my schedule for the week and immediately regretted watching the extra episode of Criminal Minds last night, for I will need that hour of should-have-been sleep tomorrow and/or wednesday night.
With all the tests and papers and group projects when I am group-less all in one week, I get upset and start re-evaluating my life. But I know that it does not need to be re-evaluated and that I am just being over-dramatic.
But I think that what I really get frustrated with is that fact that the time in college can be extremely annoying sometimes. I love being able to be a college kid and do all the fun college things, but the time span of college is something that is difficult for me. And always has been.
College is a time to discover the things you love in life and find your way. It is a time to go crazy and explore and learn what kind of person you want to be. And as much as I appreciate having the time to do that, I can become quite annoyed with it. Waiting is a difficult thing for me, and in college, you wait. You wait for the aggie ring day, and graduation. You wait to for all kinds of news and you wait for people. Sometimes, I dont want to wait.
College is such a time where you just kind of….are.
I like for things to be entirely there. I like to know what is and what isnt. I grew up in an environment where things were ever certain. Only one thing was constant in my life, and that was my mother. These days, when I can make my own decisions, I crave for consistency. College does not go well with that.
I want to be able to take pictures everyday of incredible people with incredible stories, and I want to spend all day, every day with the sweetest boy in the world (whom of which, I already have).
I dont want to do projects and take tests for 4 (maybe 4 and a half) years.
…like I said, I can be dramatic. But I love what I love.