Have you ever had your world turned upside down? You think you have it all figured out and then in a split second, with the words of another, your world is not what have known it to be anymore. You cant breath. You cant eat. You cant think. You cant sleep. You wonder if you’re even you. And who “you” is exactly.
Almost immediatly after I posted my last blog about my sweet friend Jess, I had my world rocked. The very foundation completely shaken. I mentioned in it that I had been needing some fresh air and when I left her I felt a million times better. Well, I guess it was too little too late. Because the boy that I was trying to be stronger for, walked out. Without warning.
Im not here to write about how hurt I am and how mad I am and the million other things that could be mean and nasty. Im here to say that I am kind of a million percent proud of the person I am. Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It has always been so easy for me to question if I am “worth it” to people. With the boy and especially with friends. Especially after I go through something devastating. And I have been through many devastating moments in my life. But guess what, I am worth it. I know that. I know that because God is good and He loves me more than any boy on this earth can love me. He is faithful. He will never tell me He is too busy for me anymore. He will never check out on me without warning. In Song of Soloman it says “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you”. How could I ever think that Im not good enough when He tells my I am beautiful and calls me His love. How can any girl ever struggle with this.
The Lord knows my heart. He knows my past. He knows my future. He knows I am special and that I will need a special person in my life. And I trust in Him that he is taking this time to prepare me and my future love for each other. He has knocked me down so that He could remind me where my heart needs to be. On Him. And through this faithful week, He has shown me in a million ways that He will take care of me.
He answers prayers. He hears our cries. And He is so faithful. Within this one week He has shown me every single one of these things time and time again.
I dont have a picture for you tonight. But I will tell you that through this past week, I wouldnt have made it as gracefully (and trust me, I hardly made it through gracefully) through had I not picked up my camera. That gives me some hope for the future.