Here I am..
Because I feel beckoned to go deeper. Because I feel my heart being moved and shaped and I hear myself having conversations with God that make me cry. Because I know that He is revealing His plan to me.
Nothing looks the way I expected it to. I have sadness and stress and incredible joy.. And that seems strange to me. But I know that in all of these crazy moments, God is walking with me.. asking me to go deeper.
Give all that we have. The hearts in this house have been worked lately on this. We decided in Florida that one thing we wanted to do once we got here to Texas was to volunteer more. We wanted to open our home to anyone who could use a good meal. We wanted to give our hearts and love good friends.
We have been blessed with good friends who let us open our home and hearts to them.
And today he let us see just how hard giving everything can be and feel.
Lucas went hunting and the deer was taken by the game warden for an 1/8th of an inch.
We were so beyond excited for that deer. To be able to feed us, and our friends and family for so many meals. We were heartbroken when the deer was taken. But we were assured the meat would be given away.
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances. This is God’s will through Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Last night, I took a big step. I saved for a new camera 2 years ago and never pulled the trigger but why should now be the time when I am so slow? I didnt think that I deserved it or could really justify it then and especially not now. I want nothing more than to give and show love in this business. And I felt a huge beckoning. The price was right for a new camera and lens.. The price that I told myself was a good one showed up. With my husband sitting right beside me, after I stared at the screen for a few minutes.. I hit purchase.
I will rejoice. I am thankful.
He turns these hard, sad days into big praises for His kingdom.
God’s will is hard. But God’s will is overwhelmingly beautiful.