Infertility Sucks.

Wow, its been since July since I have posted anything..

I have a lot to tell. And quite the story to go along with it.

First, let me get the big one out of the way. I am currently not working this little business right now and don’t plan to for a little bit.

This year has been a year. Actually it starts a couple years back.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in August of 2009. I had a major surgery to remove the  scar tissue then, went on the worst medication for 6 months and then managed in ever since then. Well, 2 years ago, Lucas and I started trying to have a baby. So, I had to come off of the medicine I was on to make that happen. It was horrible. Every month that we didn’t come away pregnant, I laid in physical pain for a week. And then the emotional pain hit. Living 2 weeks at a time is horrendous.

Let me back up even more.

October 2011, I was sobbing on my living room floor asking for God to send me an angel. I needed saving in the worst way. And God showed up. The very next day is the first day that I spoke to Lucas (we had known of each other but never had any reason to talk). My camera is what did it. I had to shoot an event that I knew he would be at and I needed some details. He gave them to me and we moved on. December of 2011, the same thing happened. But this time he was sure to have my number for more conversations. I knew I liked him after a couple of dates but I could not get into a relationship without having told him who I really was.

A terrible sinner that ran from Jesus in the worst way, a forgiven daughter of Christ. Wholly loved. And I trusted that God had led me to him.

And then I told him that if we were to have a future, he had to know that children would not come easily. I had a terrible disease and the word “impossible” was thrown around.

I was sure Lucas would walk out of my house after my story. I had prayed for days that wouldn’t be the case. Instead, he took me to a movie and then asked me to be his girlfriend.

We knew that the challenge would be real and that we had to trust in God’s timing. We knew we wanted to be parents. I finally worked my way through the Tricare system and got to a doctor at a civilian hospital who cared and wanted to make the endometriosis better for me, which means.. baby. A baby is the best way to stop the disease. We worked together for a year. I had another surgery in February to remove more of the scar tissue that had grown back in just a year’s worth of being off medicine. We tried so many fertility medication rounds. I initially responded well and we were so hopeful. And yet each month, it wouldn’t happen and I just knew the disease was growing minute by minute. The pain was only increasing.

Finally this summer, we took a break and decided that if we came back, we were doing IVF.

Do you have any idea how hard that decision is to make? If you are both influenced by the Christian faith and struggling with infertility, IVF forces you to make some tough choices. What if you get pregnant on the first try? What happens to those little fertilized eggs?  Don’t tell me those aren’t alive. Regardless of your politics, I defy you to tell a struggling couple that there isn’t life in there when they see a positive test. It was the hardest and took us months. My doctor was incredible and offered us the option of a mini-IVF so you don’t have to take 20 eggs at a time and have the hard moral decisions of what to do if any are left over.

The first try was in August. I took the medicine, went in for an ultrasound and was devastated. I didn’t respond AT ALL. Nothing. I had zero eggs. So we said, 1 more month. We aren’t doing this again. September is it and then we are done.

You see, we are moving to Virginia in November and we have the best friends here. We wanted to spend some time with them and not be distracted for our last few months.

So September came around, we changed the medication and I actually responded. Everything looked perfect! We were so excited. And then my doctor said, “No IVF this month. The embryologist is on vacation”. Uhh, what?

Again devastated.

Our last month and we can’t even do the IVF.

But then God stepped in.

And gave us a baby.

Incredible. Miracle. Something only God can do.

We are humbled beyond belief and so grateful to see how much he loves and cares for us.

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Baby Turner is due at the end of May 2017. Conveniently the same time that we are supposed to move again. But, God knows what He is doing! This whole story is a reminder of His faithfulness, and his character doesn’t change.

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About lindseyshelburne

Lindsey Louise Photography is run by Lindsey Turner! I am located in Copperas Cove, TX. Please email me at lindsey@lindseylouise.com or visit my website, lindseylouise.com for information on a photo session! Thanks!
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One Response to Infertility Sucks.

  1. rachel jessup says:

    Praise GOD! Oh my gosh! I am so incredibly excited for you guys!!! I had no idea what you guys had been going through. So wonderful to see how you have been pursuing the Lord.What a blessing this sweet baby is. Thanks so much for posting this and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

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