Once again, I got this cutie in a bluebonnet field. And when I went to edit the photos, I totally realized just how fast a year goes. This sweet guy has grown into a little, bitty man! The first shot was the exact same first shot as last year and it was just nutzo.
This cutie is one of my nephews. Both of them have looks to kill and will undoubtedly be heartbreakers. I mean, if this little smirk doesn’t say “hey ladies..”, ya know with finger guns and a wink..
And if I am honest with myself, and my readers and frankly my brother (this kiddos dad), I am always so honored and amazed that I get to record these moments. You see, it wasn’t long ago that our family was ruled by lies, insecurity and fear (and so much heartbreak). Lots of what if questions..
And then God showed up in my life. He taught me that He doesn’t love me because of who I am, the family I come from, the brokenness that plagued me, or what I have done in my life. He showed me that He loves me because of what Jesus did for me (and you!). He lavished grace on me and I have been begging for it to be extended to everyone I love since. Oh how I desire fiercely for my family to know the freedom that has come when I just let it all go.
Sitting in church the other day we heard a sermon on nationalism. Weird, right? I immediately identified with so many of the themes of it though. I am a Texan. I am an Aggie. My husband is in the military.. All cultures that carry a lot of pride.
But then it hit me, literally like a ton of bricks. Family.. So many families are prideful. And so many suffer for it. How many times do we hear people talk about “the family name”? Not only in my own family have I experienced this but I have been made to feel like I wasn’t good enough before because my families name didn’t carry the same weight in the community than another kids.. Pretty sad right? In this season of my life God has really been opening my eyes to all the ways that pride tears people down.
We were talking about Acts 7, when Stephen tells the Sanhedrin all the times that their nation has turned their backs on God. They told the Father that they knew better and always placed their security in their own might or their own name.. And time and time again, they suffered. But God always came back to them. God always loved them because of Jesus.. not because of their history.
When I try to explain my security in our Father, I learned that some people might interpret it as me trying to tear down their security. I am sorry for that. It was a radical change in my life when God showed me that my history doesn’t mean a thing before Him. And I fought for years and years because I was so scared. Their were questions of trust and really just wondering what my alternative was. Something totally foreign to me, yet I was being beckoned to trust in His goodness. I can understand now that its a scary thing to strip away the things that we thought were true and trust in the new things. All the things that we are proud of (family, schools, states, jobs) have the chance to mean nothing.. Your identity goes away as you knew it and you start to be someone new. And God and His love and goodness and grace means everything..
It’s worth every single everything..
Stephen was killed after he told the Sanhedrin their own nation’s history. They were too proud to listen.
I am thankful so much to God for restoring my relationship with my brother. I am thankful that I get to walk with him and Jenn and Josh. I trust in God to continue this relationship. I hope I have shown them love. I hope they know that there is nothing too bad that could separate the love they have in Christ and, frankly, me. I hope they know that I support them and want them to feel the same as I do with Jesus.
I think I have alluded to this many times.. but its time I write it. We have the same history- you (Bud) and I. There is freedom beyond our history.